My name is Ross, and I am not a writer. I have been looking back on my life and looking forward in life with my family and thought I would share my experiences.
In this blog you will read about my beliefs and methods on parenting, and how my wife and I have adapted and grown together as a team to parent our children.
Disclaimer! I by no means am trying to tell people how they need to parent their children.
With that said I am 33 years old. I am married with 3 boys, ages 14,7 and 2. I believe I am more of an old school parent. My wife who is also 33 years old is a bit more new age. Our 14 year old is my step-son. The other two are ours together.
I was raised by a farm family father and a pretty strict Baptist mother. Needless to say I had my share of whooping in my childhood. I was raised to respect my elders, say please and thank you and hold the door for someone. You open the door for you wife/girlfriend. You sit down together as a family for diner. These are just a few of the values I was raised with. I was taught to show my mother the most respect. I would definitely call myself a mama’s boy. My wife would agree! We ate what mom cooked and that was that! While in my teens my dad once told me that if I ever cheated on my wife I better run and hide, because he would cut my balls off! I was raised with an older mentality.
After high school I went into the United States Marine Corps. The structure and discipline the Marines instilled in me along with my upbringing you can say I’m a bit of a hard ass when it comes to raising my boys. I have always believed in spanking. I would see parents in a store give their unruly children the “count down”. I used to laugh to myself because the parents would take 5 minutes of arguing with their children throwing out empty threats. And when they got to 3 or sometimes they would get to 5 the child would obey, then turn around and start acting out again. I would say to myself “if that were my kid I would whoop his ass”.
Now times are different from when I was growing up. Parents can get arrested if they spank their child in public. Schools are teaching children not to let their parents spank them. Kids while getting in their parents face will say “you cant touch me! if you do I will tell my teacher and you will go to jail”. Now I understand there are poor kids in the world who get abused. But in my opinion there is a difference between discipline and abuse.
Now my wife was raised a bit differently then myself. Her father comes from a farm family and her mother was far from “farm or Baptist”. While her mother is a wonderful women, she is definitely a free spirit. Almost hippie-ish. My wife has four sisters and I cannot imagine what it was like growing up in that house! I have only one brother. She once told me that her and one of her sisters were fighting, so their mom tied the two girls together with a jump rope until they learned to get along. Although not a spanking, but defiantly old school!
When I met my wife, my step-son just turned 4. While dating I noticed very quickly that my wife believed a bit differently when I came to parenting then I did. She was a firm believer in getting down to the child’s level, letting them make their own choices (within reason) and time outs. I remember thinking to myself “this is going to be interesting” I cannot believe I’m dating a girl that believes in this crap!
As time passed in our relationship my eyes were opened a bit. Time outs actually worked on my step-son he was terrified of time-outs. My wife never did the “I’m going to count to three” business but she would use the threat of standing with your face in a corner… and it worked! I couldn’t believe it, something besides a spanking actually works! So I started to take a few pages out of her book.
We thought we were doing great, working together as a team and dominating the whole parenting thing!
Then a couple years later we had our 1st child together…
To be continued…